I founded this ONLINE Temple of the ORIGINAL Zen Buddhism (Chan Buddhism) in 1999 at www.ShaolinZen.org I used this website to teach my children the Original Buddhism of Shakyamuni Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama) and the Original Zen Buddhism of the Shaolin Temple in China. I also used this as the source material of the first podcasts in 2006 of the Zen Buddhist Podcast of Shaolin Zen. By reading the material on this website and discussing it with additional stories of my life as a Mr. Mom I created an enormous following.
I apologize for all those who may have felt abandoned when I became a homeless monk and could no longer afford the hosting fees to maintain my podcasts. I learned a lot from devoting my life to raising my children. I also learned that my expectations of my children being an investment in my future was wrong. I truly enjoyed raising them and being with them 24/7 as a Mr. Mom. But I had expectations. Yes, there’s that word we consider to be the birth of suffering. So I suffered, and learned. I can’t regret the love and compassion and satisfaction I had while raising my children. Some of those years as a Mr. Mom were the best of my life. But filial piety is not to be expected in our modern world. I’ve learned accordingly and look forward to sharing my illumination and enlightenment from what I’ve accordingly learned by experience and what I WISH I KNEW BEFORE THESE EXPERIENCES.
I enjoy counseling my students and their families and now I know a lot more from experience and study. I look forward to helping my students, friends and listeners be more successful in their lives as I continually improve my own life. (Which is a really cool life!!!)
In fact: (last update?) After contracting Covid-19 during summer of 2020 I stopped filming videos for several months. I had to reevaluate and decide how to put / keep / add Shaolin Kung Fu into my daily life. My Shaolin lifestyle. After spending a few months without Shaolin Kung Fu I am DEDICATED to doing Shaolin Kung Fu DAILY (for new reasons) and realize that any day without Shaolin Kung Fu is a day of less accomplishment and maintenance of my Shaolin Lifestyle. This is Noble Truth #4. Shaolin Kung Fu is my Noble Truth #4. What’s that? I look forward to explaining…
YouTube Video TRANSCRIPT: Daily Taoist 69 “PATREON account ad #2”
Hello there. Buddha Zhen Shen-Lang. I’m also Richard Del Connor.
I finished my cancer radiation and chemotherapy for colon cancer in August 2021. I’m writing this in September and I’m only able to work normally the past couple weeks. In another month we will check to see if the cancer is gone. My doctor says: “You’re still cooking. That radiation has accumulated each day over the two months of daily treatments.”
Bear has been supportive as I limp from bed to cat bowl.
I have two Patreon accounts. So I think this is going to be INTRO for my BUDDHA ZHEN account where I do Taoism, and Buddhism, and Confucianism and also Strategy based on Sun Tzu.
YouTube Video TRANSCRIPT: Daily Taoist 64 AD: “Fill-in for Variety Shows”
Pardon my cat crunching over here.
Hey. Buddha Zhen Shen-Lang.
The Daily Taoist? I just thought of that as I was sitting down.
I came to realize that I’m kind of addicted to a lot of these daily comedians I look to provide me news. Believe it or not.
Anyway, they’re off the air right now because of this corona virus thing. And it’s kind of like a VOID. [LAUGHS] Which is kind of nice. Maybe a lot of people are getting a lot more done.
But at the same time: Is that something I should FILL-IN or maybe that’s something that I could provide a–like I said, “Fill-In?”
THE DAILY TAOIST. I’ve actually been pumping out a lots of these videos a day–half a dozen a day. So I could put them out five days a week or so if I really wanted to. I’ve gotten ahead a little bit.
Anyway, just considering that possibility. The Daily Taoist.
YouTube Video TRANSCIPT: Daily Taoist 63 Tao #35 Take 2
Alright. I’m starting it over again because we took five minutes to wipe my cat’s butt. Yeah. But it was in that last video. We had a poo-poo break. And I raised kids. I wiped their butts for years every day all day long I was the only one wiping their butt for years. So butt wiping is very normal to me. In fact it’s one of those things you take seriously. It’s your job so you’ve really got to make sure you do it good and diaper rash is a nightmare. And she — my daughter had diaper rash two or three times. I’m not sure. Only a couple times. But we dealt with it. It was a nuisance. You’ve got to really work to prevent it. Once you get it — it’s horrible. So I just always worked hard to make sure she never got diaper rash. It means cleaning the diapers real real frequently.
Here we go.
Buddha Zhen Shen-Lang, former Mr. Mom. Reading from the DAO TE CHING. My version of it called the TAO OF TAOISM. I converted it and then I made all these questions and answers so you take the Lao Tzu thing and then you kind of figure out how to implement it. Because what good is wisdom unless you implement it. It’s not even wisdom. It’s just knowledge, or information. So the only time it becomes wisdom is when you use it.
Here we go. #35. The last one we’re gonna do here.
A person who is aware of ultimate realities attracts the confidence of others through security, contentment, and self-satisfaction.
And that’s where I fall short. Remember? That ultimate reality that I was telling you Mitch McConnell’s hijacked our– Yeah. The ultimate reality. When I had the ultimate– I didn’t have– I never ever had the ultimate reality. Even when I was the Mr. Mom, the mother was still paying some of the bills. She worked for Xerox. So even though she wasn’t with us, or staying with us, she would still pay the bills. The rent and give us grocery money. So I was still not the ultimate reality. I did not control the money. Because she controlled the money she thought she got last say and had more power over me than I had over her. And because that was her life– If it was the other way around. I’m sure she wouldn’t believe that. If I had the money, she wouldn’t have acquiesced to me having the control. But anyway. That’s the way she saw it. So that’s the way we worked with it. So I never had ultimate reality. This is the first time I’ve had my ultimate reality since I met her in 1989.
So since 1989, and it’s 2020. YIKES! I gave up my ultimate reality for thirty years. So I could kind of control my ultimate reality being homeless but that was a heck of a way to start having an ultimate reality. “Okay. We’re going to start your life from here. You get a car. And a cat. And that’s it. [laughs] That’s a bad start for an ultimate reality.
An ultimate reality like Mitch McConnell controls the Senate. He’s a millionaire. Or billionaire. And he’s got all these billionaires connected that he tells everybody, “Okay. I want you meet with him.” “And you’re gonna do this deal.” But he sets all the other Senators up with deals. So that they’re all doing illegal things. Every single one of those Republican Senators has taken lobby money from people they should’ve never taken it from and Mitch McConnell makes sure that they’re all in that web drinking that poison money. So that’s all they do is suck off that poison money and then they all have to play the same game. You know, they’re all in the same game getting that poison money. And they love it because there’s lots of it.
So anyway. But that’s the problem I guess. That’s why I can’t answer this question the way I did because I’ve never been able to provide that ultimate reality. To provide the ultimate reality you have to have enough money that people want to hang around you. You know, like somebody like Elon Musk. So what if he’s really smart? But he’s got a lot of money. So that’s why people like him. If he was just smart–nobody’d give a damn. [laughs] But if you’re smart and you’ve got money a lot of people care. In fact people don’t even care that he’s smart. In fact, people make fun of that or something. People don’t even appreciate it and respect it because they don’t know what being smart is. So, so most people think that, “Oh. It’s like having a third leg. Oh, you’ve got a third leg. Okay. Great.” You know so, “Glad I don’t have a third leg.” They don’t even–so they see it as a disadvantage.
Okay. Anyway… So I’ve never had the ultimate reality. That’s, that’s why I couldn’t answer this question. I was having trouble with these answers. So anyway. Now I’ve got the ultimate reality. But my ultimate reality is that I’m totally broke so nobody’s gonna come running to me… Watch what happens when I get a bunch of money. This is gonna be interesting. See, if my ultimate reality finally changes after thirty years of poverty: only because i have a whole bunch of money. That’s gonna be an interesting thing to see.
So. What about me gives people confidence in me? I mean my Kung Fu and my ability–my being smart and nice, happy. Those things have given people confidence in me. You know, so… A lot of my good qualities, my virtues: give people confidence in me. But not my finances, or my material life doesn’t interest most people. People are into bling. I got no bling.
What about you lessens people’s confidence in you?
Well, being homeless. Or poverty. That seems to shake everybody’s confidence right off the bat. [laughs] But YOU. I’m answering these questions too quickly. What about you lessens people’s confidence in you?
How could you gain more confidence from other people?
Alright?
When– How could I gain it? Here’s the irony for me. It’s like we were saying earlier. Is that I’ll gain– When other people like me. Then other people will like me. It’s like that decoy duck thing. Right now nobody likes me. So nobody likes me. But the moment a whole bunch of people like me–then a whole bunch more…It’s gotta be that like snowball thing. Hopefully. And uh- but yeah. I don’t have that snowball thing going yet.
Can you help me? If you get the snowball thing going. on these videos, The Daily Taoist. I’ll continue doing this. This’ll be fun.
But… When someone threatens you–what is your confidence?
Oooh. You answer that first.
If someone threatens you, what is your confidence?
I have two things. Number one, I talk my way out of most things. Okay. The second thing is I know that if I’m threatened… or if threatened: I’m not going to react. But the moment I think I might get killed: then I’ve got a whole bunch of stuff I could do and I hope I don’t do it. I just know that there’s something in there. It’s like having a knife in your pocket but you don’t want to use it. Because you don’t know where you’re gonna stab the person, but if you had to, you’re gonna pull it out. So I don’t want to ever use my self-defense. I don’t really think that way. I’ve always got other things. Talking and stuff. It’s never my first priority.
Where are we? So anyway. It gives me a little confidence. Knowing that knife is in my pocket makes me negotiate more because i don’t want to have to use my knife. So that makes me work harder to NOT get to my self-defense. Which is the opposite of the Karate people. Karate people go to class every time to beat people up and get beat up. So their first line of defense is to threaten and intimidate. So they don’t have the buffer zones that I do. For mree the fighting is way, way, way back there. For them it’s the first line of defense. They threaten. And intimidation. So I don’t agree with that.
Describe your fears of being mugged, robbed or molested.
Hey. I was just homeless for seven years. I was around all the muggers and molesters and robbers. [laughs] I was living with them. Living with them literally. I mean, in my room i had a guy who was in prison for murder mansalughter. A junkie over here. This guy, he was a drunk. But well he was a thief. He was definitely a thief. Anyway. So was that guy. This guy was a tweaker. The junkie was also a tweeker. And he was a dealer. That’s how he finally got kicked out of the place. He got caught dealing.
Anyway, um, So describe my fears. Not much. So like, they were my neighbors. It was… [laughs] I should have more fear.
What is your self-defense?
What’s YOUR self-defense. Everybody should have something. And don’t say, “That shotgun back in my closet.” [LAUGHS] Like I told you, mine’s talking. My being able to talk. And then there’s a few little tricks and things I know before I’d ever have to get to fighting I could do. In fact, even if I did get in a fight, a couple times I’ve disguised it. It wasn’t even a fight. Just a move here and there. Well, I’m not gonna get into that.
Where were we? Because we’re not half way through.
What in your home gives you security?
What in YOUR home gives YOU security?
Answer that in your own way.
What in your home gives you contentment?
So something in your home. What about the home? Gives you contentment? Your garage. I don’t know.
What gives you contentment?
What at out your represents your self-satisfaction?
I can finally make an answer: ME. Everything that I am and have is in this home. So this home is me. So this home is a place I can be me with me. And do things that are important to me.
Do you keep weapons readily positioned at home, and why?
Oh that’s a good question. And I was just asking myself this yesterday. I saw this video of people lining up at the gun store. Buying ammo and everything. I thought, “Wow.” If this does turn into an end of the world situation–youknow, and people are breaking into each others’ houses…for food and supplies and money and stuff… how do I defend my home? What’s my line of defense here. And so I started thinking. Do I put weapons around the place? Or whatever. And I was thinking last night if I was right here and somebody blew a hole in the door and came in… What would I do? The first thing. So I started playing out a few scenarios in my mind of what I would just take off the walls… and in that particular case I was standing over there and I picked up my monk spade and I said I’m just throwing it right through that opening… [BZ gets emotional] Dont’ wanna get into it. Yeah. Don’t attack me. Okay? I don’t want to hurt anybody. I really don’t. [pufffffff] Okay.
Um. Where were we?
What gives you contentment?
What satisfies your conscious self away from home?
What do you like when you’re away from home?
What satisfies you?
And what satisfies your subconscious when you’re away from home?
So when you’re away from home. That child in you misses your home. And the adult in you misses the home in two different ways.
You have two different relationships. I’m just trying to get you to identify with your home in a different way. You probably have whole different answers than me. Like I said. This is my whole little library. I live in my — in my stuff. you have your own perspective.
Okay. What about your home… Let’s see. Where were we? Ah. I’m just gonna read it because it’s here.
What backup weapon do you keep in your car? And why?
And I don’t encourage this. I don’t encourage this.
In fact, I’ve always had weapons in my car for practicing. But I never practiced much. I had a couple swords. But they’re not for self defense even. That’s just because I have to have a place to put them. And whenever I do somebody with a baseball bat in their car, or something like that: I think that person might be evil. So it actually makes me distrust people when I see a weapon in their car. So you should not have a weapon in your car. [swords have been removed from car] You shouldn’t have to think that way. And if you did have to have something in your car that you could do–in the front seat. I’d, to be honest with you, I’ve got a couple drum sticks. And threatening someone with a drumstick might almost seem funny. But If I hit you hard with the stick on your hands or knuckles or your head–poke your eye out… Definitely think that guy’s formidable. So maybe that’s it. You should just carry a pair of drumsticks. That’s what I’ve got in my front seat.
Okay. But they’re not there for weapons. What I’ve beat on… You can see all the worn-out cracks and everything on my dashboard where I beat on it.
How else have you planned for disaster, danger or self-defense?
Hey. We’re in a lockdown. We’re in a disaster situation. Like a war scenario. We’re all locked in our houses with whatever we’ve got. So the fact that i was slightly prepared and had canned food and dozen rolls of toilet paper was fortuitous. And normally, in a normal lifestyle. I’d normally have all kinds of stuff, a can of gasoline and life supplies. And we got into that in Utah. The Mormons want to be like the cockroaches and outlive everybody else. So they’re actually looking forward to the end of the world so the can emerge from their foxholes and bombshelters and take over the Earth. That’s one of their prophesies. So when I was there in Utah I learned all about how to– I really did. They taught me really well about how to provide for yourself. I feel like I saw videos. Yeah I did. I probably saw it on some television shows. Proably saw some television shows that– I’m remembering videos of it. Yeah, I’m very well educatied on how to have supplies for the Armegeddon.
They say keep three to six months which I don’t. I could last a month maybe. Maybe. I’m low on water. Water supply is something I didn’t plan for.
What gives you contentment as well as those around you?
Describe your self-contentment.
Without any weapons, what would be your first weapon?
With or without weapons, how do you negotiate out of a violent confrontation?
What do you say to someone who is threatening you?
What are intimidation or negotiation powers?
What are your other stragegies of non-violence?
How do you protect others?
Who do you protect?
What are your limits in protecting others?
That’s important. Even as a Freemason we’d have to say you’d only risk your life for another mason to a certain point. We’d actually draw the line even there.
What are your limits in protecting others?
How readily would you jump into a fight to protect a friend?
I’m a little too readily on that. I’m definitely the warrior. Done it many times. I’ve actually saved a few kids.
Here we go: How much abuse will you withstand or ignore before retaliating?
In other words, how much does someone have to rile you up enough to get a punch? What do they have to say? Is there some limit? If there is– you need to know what it is.
How can you avoid being threatened?
And I’ve almost made it here. Last one.
Explain our Shaolin Chi Mantis slogan: This is my school slogan. Invented back in 1992.
THE ULTIMATE SELF-DEFENSE is SELF-AWARENESS.
And I’m gonna leave you with that. That’s the end of the book.
The Ultimate self-defense is self-awareness.
And that’s what I teach. I’m Buddha Zhen Shen-Lang.
YouTube Video TRANSCRIPT: Daily Taoist 62 — Tao #35
Alright. We’re getting closer to the end of the book. Remember, if this works– Remember? I had to angle down for my kitty cat being here. Reposition this any better?
You need to SHARE this and make this some sort of success for me. Otherwise, why would I continue it? But I’ve got a whole bunch of them here. I was thinking about it when I was just in the restroom thinking, “What happens if I pass away and I don’t post for a couple years? Is Instagram gonna [SNIP] my account? And all this stuff that I’m hoping to enlighten the future and the world with–is it going to just evaporate and disappear?” POP. One day it’s here and the next day it’s gone? I don’t know. I’m a strategist but I don’t know the answer to that strategy. I’d like to think part of my strategy was to put it here and then hopefully it would enlighten some people but I’m actually hoping that maybe it might garner some sort of an interest and a following. So I’m fishing. I’m fishing to see if this gonna– this thing’s gonna promote my future. Or is it just a distraction?
But it’s a great distraction. I’ve learned a lot from just helping you and hopefully by being here it’ll help you. And if they’ll leave it here after I die. You know. If they’ll actually let this be here. In a hundred years somebody’ll stumble on this go, “Wow! There’s some good information in here. I feel a lot better and I can fix a few problems.” You know, that’d be beneficial. But i don’t know. I don’t know if Instagram’s gonna leave this here.
Let’s…help me anyway… figure out the future of this. What’s going on with the Daily Taoist? I’m the Daily Taoist. And my cat seems to be wanting to go up there onto the counter for some reason. I don’t usually let him up on the sink. And he shouldn’t be allowed on the sink. But the fact he wants to go up there’s got my interest.
[to cat] “Why do you want to get up there little buddy?” I’m trying to understand his Tao. His Nature. “What is it you want? What time is it?” Maybe he wants something to eat. Let me finish. I’m gonna take a break when I’m done.” I think I’m. How many more do I have to do? I’m on #35. WHAT?! This can’t be the last one! I’ve been blasting. I didn’t realize it. Two pages long and then I could show you the BIBLIOGRAPHY if I have time. Whole bunch of ads. Sheesh. It’s insulting how many ads. I mean it’s kind of gross how many ads i put in here. I think. I think. But I was working– I was fishing hard. I was trying hard. I was reaching our for some sort of sales. In fact, one of my items, my– all my CafePress has been stolen. I tried. I went online. I saw one of my shirts. And I clicked on it. Somebody else is selling my shirt. I’ve been ripped off. My artwork’s been stolen. People are printing shirts with my praying mantis on it. So anyway. I’m getting ripped off.
These are things I need to take under control. And control would give me some–
Anyway. Here we go.
#35. Let’s wrap this up. This is our– maybe our last one if I can do one and a half pages. And in less than fifteen minutes.
Richard Del Connor. Buddha Zhen Shen-Lang. Author of the TAO OF TAOISM – USING THE DAO TE CHING TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE. The original book is called the BOOK OF CHANGES or DAO TE CHING written by Lao Tzu 2,500 years ago. At least 2,200 years ago.
Here we go. #35. And there’s 80 of them, but this is the last one in this book.
A person who is aware of ultimate realities attracts the confidence of others through security, contentment, and self-satisfaction.
I’m going to read that again and this is a quandary of mine. This qauestion here is the one I’ve been asking myself over and over again the last few months I’ve been living here.
Hey. My cat’s gonna do something. I may have to take a break here.
[to cat] Is this a wee-wee or a poo-poo buddhy? .
I think I’m gonna take a break. He is– When he has a poo-poo now. I wipe his butt every time. So… um…
[to cat] “Hello there little buddy. Is this a poo-poo? Let me get a tissue here. Hi buds.” I thought of this earlier. Never seen it probably on film before. A guy wiping a cat’s butt? If I can get it on camera here. “You get it buddy? Alright buddy. Come here. I’ll get it. Okay. Come here. Come here Bud. Alright.”
He’s burrying it. Now he’s calling me. That’s how he calls me. “Okay. I’ll come clean it up. Alright. I got it.” He’s scratching the outside. “Yes. Yes.” He’s scratching the outside rim. “Come here Buddy. Come here Buddy. I’ll wipe you now. Here’s a tissue. Good boy. Yes you are. Good boy. Come here. A little more. Thank you. Alright? I didn’t really need to clean your butt in the camera… But… Here we go.”
Alright? So there you go. That’s it. [LAUGHS] [HAND WASHING] They say you’re supposed to wash your hands long enough for a song. Don’t know if I’ll do that. In a situation like this I use soap and water. And do a good job. The other day i went to wipe his butt and I didn’t end up wiping it. And I washed up real quick, and I thought to myself, “Oh! I’ll bet if somebody saw that video they’ll think I didn’t wash my hands good. [LAUGHS]
Alright. We’re at five minutes and we haven’t even started? And we had to do a page and a half–Maybe we should just start this one over. “Bear. Were you a total distraction for this? I think you just knocked out most of my time here.”
Alright. We’ll make that the BEAR BUTT BREAK I guess. And we’ll start that one over again.
I’m really determined. I want to get these done tonight. I’ve got about five more or so. I don’t know that I should ask Bear’s permisssion. But he’s repositioning. I was on this page. I guess he knows I’m going to work over here so he’s kind of moving over here. [LAUGHS]
This is #34a I’m Buddha Zhen Shen-Lang. Zhen Shen-Lang by the way translates as Spirit Wolf of Truth. Truth being my last name. So yeah. I’m kind of obliged to give you the truth. It’s my name.
Okay. So this is #34a of the TAO OF TAOISM based on the BOOK OF CHANGES by Lao Tzu.
And so #34a says:
Ultimate reality–
(I’ve got hairs all of the place. In your own ears.)
Ultimate reality does not compete for recognition. Though other realitites may shout their identities, eventually all perspectives will merge into the ultimate reality.
Okay. I don’t think i want to get too carried away with the spiritual implications here. But let’s stick with the material world. The real world. Ultimate reality does not compete for recognition. Ultimate reality does not compete for recognition.
In other words… Okay. So let say– So let’s take the Congress [Senate] Okay. The Congress of the United States. What do we got? Like a hundred guys there? Well 105 or 110.Any way I’ve got a hundred. So those guys. Okay? So their ultimate reality is they’re not there to compete for recognition. That’s not the job that they’re in. Their ultimate reality is to work as a team to get something done. Now unfortunately, obviously when things go wrong, we’ll notice that people are competing for recognition, and doing things– So they’re jamming up the ultimate reality. They’re ruining, they are destroying The Tao. They’re going against Nature.
Though other realities may shout their identities–
You know, like Cruz, and some of these guys. Gosh, they’re amazing! Amazing!
Eventually, all perpectives will merge into the ultimate reality.
So a lot of these guys– Well actually, this… has several things to say. This is actually not all good. This is not all good. This is actually saying– Because the ultimate reality of The Senate is that Mitch McConnell is the ultimate reality. He has decided this is the ultimate reality: “We’re not gonna let the President appoint any Justices or Supreme Court things… We’re gonna jam up the government. So HE decided what the ultimate reality was going to be for The Senate. Not the Constitution. Not the people of this country. Not just the general whatever it is of our government that’s supposed to always just outlive us. No. He decided. He decided I don’t care what the people want. I don’t care what the President wants. I don’t care what the government wants. THIS is the ultimate reality of The Senate. And… Mitch McConnell has hijacked our country for thirty years or something. I’m not an expert. I haven’t been paying attention to politics. But now that I am I’m amazed at how much YOU GUYS– “You Guys.” Anybody. Any of you who’ve paid attention to politics– How much you’ve really screwed up this country. This country is like totally screwed up by you. You guys. I’d…well, I’ll take responsibility for being ignorant and not being a part of it and even voting for Reagan once. So, I mean… I’m an idiot. But I’m getting smarter. I’m actually much, much smarter now. I would not make so many mistakes. Now that I know what’s going on better. I could be a much better voter now.
So let’s read this again.
Ultimate reality does not compete for recognition.
See. And he’s not actually competing for recognition either. See, that actually supports this concept. He [Mitch McConnell] is the ultimate reality. But he’s not even competing. There’s no competition. He’s just there. That makes him the ultimate reality. Wow! I’ve just learned something. So the ultimate reality: you can find because they’re no longer competing. See? He’s not competing. He’s totally in control. So he’s the ultimate reality. Kind of like Trump. There’s nobody competing against Trump. He’s totally in control. He is the ultimate reality. Okay? And he’s trying to get recognition. So he’s totally like the opposite. Mitch McConnell is like the QUIET EVIL. And this guy’s the LOUD EVIL. These guys are the Yin and Yang of evil. The QUIET EVIL that’s been working behind the scenes and causing all these problems. But you don’t know it. Can’t see him. And then Trump who’s out here doing all this evil RIGHT IN YOUR FACE. But this guy down here’s supporting him. See? This guy can’t get away with it without this guy. If this guy [McConnell] was right here saying, “No you can’t do that.” You know. It wouldn’t work. But no this guy’s back here saying, “You can do it.” [McConnell] “Go ahead. Go ahead and do it. I’ve got all these guys lined up. We’re gonna profit from this stupid stuff you’re doing.”
Okay. Here we go. #34a
Are you shy or bold and why?
Shy or bold. Okay? One or the other. You’re either shy or bold. Do you go introduce yourself? Or do you wait for other people to introduce themselves? Those are the two people– You have to choose from one of those two.
Are you reserved or outspoken? And why?
The ‘WHY’s’ important. I don’t have time for it because I can’t hear it. Okay, but get this book and write your ‘WHY.’ That’s very important.
Are you reserved or outspoken?
In other words, “It’s none of my business.” You hold your thing.
Or are you outspoken: “I think people should know about that!” Are you the person who lets people know what your think they should know?
Or do you hold it back? “It’s none of my business.”
If you ever say, “It’s none of my business,” then you know which one you are.
Okay.
Is your appearance subtle or bold? And why?
See, mine’s changed. I told you: I used to be a hippie. And I was doing it to make a statement. I don’t belong to this… I belong to the counterculture. I’m not part of this culture and I’m against these values. And I’m making a statement. I’m not making that statement anymore.
Um… Do you ever argue? And why?
Arguing. Yeah–that’s a good question. We’ll get into that another time. But are you versus discussion, versus debating. But arguing is where you’re basically where you’re just–there’s never a solution. And arguing never wins. If you do win it’s because the other person gave up. Or you forced them to shut up. Or you said– anyway– Arguing always ends up in a false ending.
How do you know when to stop arguing?
There you go. See? It’s never gonna end. You can argue forever. And you can stop anytime. Same place.
But anyway. How do you know when to stop arguing?
Are you competitive or passive?
What about Bear? He’s not competitive. He’s actually passive. Now if I had another pet he’d have to be competitive. And that would throw out our harmony entirely. That’s why you should never have more than one pet. You should only have one pet. That way he’s part of the family. If he’s not–he’s just another rodent that you’re feeding. He’s a lower animal. And they’ll know that because they have to deal with each other. Dealing with your as totally separate reality. But if you take the other animals out of the picture and they only relate to you– You elevate their consciousness. So that’s why this guy’s consciousness is elevated. He knows he’s a cat. There’s no question about that. And he knows the other cats. But his relationship with me is something he can’t have with anybody else. He crawls and gets in my underarm. And talks to me and stuff. We have a special relationship, and it’s a– Anyway.
Seriously. I honestly believe — in fact I’ve heard that from people too, who get two cats. “The cats just play with each other. They won’t do this… and they won’t give me any attention.” Yes. Of course. They’re going to play with each other first. You know… So– Anyway. Learn from other people’s mistakes.
Here we go. Next one.
Are you competitive or passive?
Why is winning important to you?
Everybody should want to win. But why is it important TO YOU? What does winning mean? Define it. That’s very important.
Uh… Do you prefer to talk or listen? And why?
Talk, or listen, and why? You’ve got to do all three. You’ve got to prefer one or the other. You either talk more or listen more. Okay? Some people don’t do either. They don’t talk. They don’t listen. They’re really a mushroom.
Okay. Here we go.
Do you usually try to win or compromise?
Ah… Get your own answer.
But my answer is unfortunately compromising. Now I actually– Well, that’s not entirely true. You see I actually– Bear — I can actually, because I’m a strategist, I kind of like intermix them. I’ve learned how to compromise now to win later. You know… And I don’t know about win now to compromise later. That doesn’t seem likey a— a useful thing. [laughs] But it could be. I can actually see how that could possibly be. But no. I’ve mostly been compromising as part of my winning strategy. And that’s not good. I should’ve been– even as a — even in my failed marriage I should’ve pushed harder to be me instead of compromising as much as I did. But I did. I compromised. I went for the easy soft road. I could’ve divorced. Run off with the kid. So there’s lots of things I could’ve done. And maybe should’ve done. You know, to be more successful. Maybe, the kids would be more happy. And the exwife might be more happy. So i’m not even saying I made the right choice. But the choice I did make was to play the long game. Compromise. Be in there as long as I could. I never paid child support. And I was there with my son, helping him graduate high school when he turned eighteen. He would not have graduated high school without my help. So I was right there. Right to the very end. And then they’re gone.
I played the long game. My goal was to raise my kids. So even when it totally turned bad… I spent the last five years really being unappreciated and insulted. And cussed at by my own kids. But I hung in there just because that was the plan i made and I stuck it out. So arguably it wasn’t necessarily the right way to do it but it is the way I did do it. I’m here– So there we are. I made my choices and now I’m going to live by them.
So… And I’m happy. Like i said, I’m very, very happy. So everything’s gonna work out fine.
Where are we? And I’m hoping my kids will get whatever they want in life. Because it’s obviously not what I’m offereing. So whatever they need, they need to find somewhere else. Because they know what I’ve got and they don’t want to come back for any of what I’ve got. So appreciate that. Although it’s alway gonna hurt my feelings because I always wanted them to be with me.
Where are we?
Um….oh… Are you jealous?
That’s a very important question. Everybody could say we have felt jealousy. But are you a jealous person? And we can probably define that somehow. I didn’t think this through ahead of time. But I could think of ways in girls I used to find that–And I used to realize that any girl who’s jealous–you can’t trust. And I would… the more a girl is jealous–the more there’s something you can’t trust. That’s a real imbalance. But I shouldn’t have given you any clues.
Explain your possessiveness of loved ones.
Possessiveness of loved ones. You’ve gotta explain it. In other words, if you love someone… We all have certain possessions or restrictions. Or we think we are behooven to each other. So explain your concepts. Because if you’re gonna have a mate you might want to make sure she has the same concepts. Because you might find you have two different concepts of what marriage and the vows mean.
How much freedom to do you allow your mates? And why?
So are they allowed to have sex with other people? If they did, would you forgive them? Is it okay? Do you breakup? Or get back together? Tell me what’s in your wallet?
How quickly can you understand the perspectives of others?
You make think you do. But think about it. Ask other people if they think you “GET” what they’re saying?
How does this influence your motives or goals?
In other words, if you do understand their perspectives, does that change yours at all?
How much do you enjoy compromising?
Remember that? Once you know what they want– You can’t compromise until you know what somebody else wants. So, most people might think they compromise. But maybe you don’t. You’re just giving in to something to make it easier. You’re not really compromising. How do you know that? Answer the questions here.
How do you feel about accepting the blame for other people’s mistakes?
I have a certain pride in that actually. It’s kind of a shame. I don’t shame anybody. I don’t like to use that word, “shame.” But yeah, I… In my life I have a kind of honor code, street code. Or the police think certain things– Well, I wouldn’t turn people in. Or I took responsibility. Or if I had something, and it was somebody else’s… it doesn’t matter. I didn’t– I never ever turned anybody else in. So anyway, that means something to me. That’s my “street cred”– My “Street Cred” as I think they call it. My street credibility. I’ve never narced on anybody.They use to call people, “a narc” because of “Narcotics Officer.”
Okay. Are you a good negotiator in tough arguments?
Maybe. Maybe. I look for different answers. I get people to pursue different paths of inquiry. So maybe that helps come to a better answer or just an answer they would have never come to on their own… arguing. So I have some ability. As a mediator and a negotiator.
And are you capable of being unemotional? Ant any time? No matter what?
Yeah. But it does seem practical. You’ve got to learn how to shut it off. We all have emotions. So I get emotional. But I can shut them off. I’m real good at it now.
But some people can’t. People literally can’t. Some people say, “I’ve gotta take a break.” “I’ve gotta do something because I’m having an emotional…” “I can’t control my emotions!” It’s pretty pathetic but people believe that’s acceptible. And like I said, if you’re in that lower part of the herd you know… emotions become logic. Then people start saying they think with their gut. I mean they just start saying things that are totally illogical or stupid. And they’re using them as their reasoning.
So… when you start mixing down there at the bottom… it gets pretty muddy.
Okay. So, what upsets you most?
Think about that for a minute before i say what I say.
What upsets YOU most?
Okay. Hopefully you got your answer out there. Because what upsets you most is often what upsets you most that you do yourself. In other words something that would bother you the most if you did it. Like for me: lieing. It would bother me so much if I lied. I’ve told a couple lies and they haunt me forever. So when other people lie it really really bothers me. But I’m very gullible because I never lie. So I always want to think everybody’s telling the truth. But lies get in. But I don’t like them. So when they lie– “POOF” The person’s out. [laughs] I’m very very much into the truth. If you lie to me– If you don’t want to be my friend just tell me a– Don’t tell me lie. Just don’t talk to me. People don’t want to be my friend? But an’t be my friend if they lie.
Gotta get out of here before that fifteen minutes.
